Tuesday, December 23, 2008


I got a request from Leah to put one of those "followers" things on my blog. Well, ask and you shall receive. So, hey bitches, follow me! ;)

Monday, December 22, 2008


1. I squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube. I'm unapologetic about it, and because of this, Nick won't share toothpaste with me. :) I have my very own tube.

2. I love a hoodie. I have probably 30 hoodies minimum in my closet. I love a hoodie sweatshirt (Lucky in particular) I love a hoodie sweater, a hoodie jacket, I love all things with hoods. Not sure why.

3. I hate wool. Even a small fraction of a percentage makes me itch, and it doesn't matter if I wear a shirt under it. Yuck.

4. I should be on the treadmill right now.

5. I had to call my father last night when writing out Holiday cards, because I couldn't remember if my uncle was dead or alive. (he's alive....who knew?)

6. I think being unable to recall if someone is even alive or not, means they shouldn't be on your holiday card list.

7. I am feeling a little excited for Giftmas and I'm not sure why.

8. That last statement might be a lie. I think I know why....I have a bunch of junk food I'm making to eat on Christmas Day. I also made new rules on the gift buying of the money grubbers.

9. I just started working out with a weight ball, and I love it. (thanks Walt!)

10. I would love to have six pack abs. How does that happen??

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Who are you???

Hey, I notice I've been getting several hits per day from Minneapolis.....so 'fess up. Who are you? :) Just curious.

Snore update.

Nick got a CPAP machine for his snoring today. I'm hopeful that I may get some sleep soon. Cautiously optimistic. Or something. I wonder if the dog can get one too, because he's been snoring a lot the last month or two.

Otherwise, that's it. I'm tired. I didn't sleep well at all last night, so I'm really dragging.

Saturday, December 13, 2008


I love calling Christmas "Giftmas" and am thinking of having it printed on my holiday cards that we send to Nick's family of money grubbers. I've completely stolen that word from Sevi, and need to give her credit for it. I think it's hilarious and brilliant, and it completely sums up how that holiday makes me feel.


Hey everyone,
First off, I just want to thank everyone who read my last post and was worried about me. I just wrote it to get it out of my system, and I'm fine. Really. The situation with my mother just is what it is, and I sometimes get down about it, especially during her birthday and the holidays.

This year is was probably magnified by all the other things going on in my life right now. I've been extremely worried about the economy. Since my job is in the "luxury" business, it's not terribly stable with the shaky finances that so many people have these days. Funny how people who are losing their house, have been laid off, and can't afford to buy groceries are not buying jewelry this year! That makes me nervous for my own job. Very nervous. Ok, maybe paralyzed with fear is more like it. I had a panic attack last week when I went Giftmas shopping. I just started thinking about the money, the fact that our phones at work are not really ringing, and everything just boiled over. I couldn't leave the mall fast enough. By the time I got to my car, I wasn't just crying, but bawling and hyperventilating. I've never had a panic attack before in my life. In fact, people who know me in real life are the most shocked and worried over that, because it's just not like me. I'm usually the stable, steady, rational one. Not this time, not right now.

There is also a lot of other things going on, that I'm not quite ready to talk about in my blog, but let's just say they are all contributing to my stress level.

So, for those of you who worried about me, thank you. I'm okay. It's just a rough time right now for me.

Things my mother taught me

Today was my mother's 66th birthday. I didn't call. I didn't get her a card. I didn't acknowledge it in any way, because it's too stressful for me.

My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic, and I haven't had contact with her in almost 6 years. Before that, I tried desperately to gain her approval; my whole childhood, and most of my adult life. I've learned since then, that I'll never be good enough, smart enough, funny enough. I'm not enough. I've learned since then that you can't reason with crazy. I've learned that it's not my fault my mother can't love me. I've learned that it's not okay to treat a child the way I was treated. I've learned that no matter how much you want to have a normal family, it's not possible for everybody.

I sometimes wonder what I would be like if I had normal parents. If I had parents who loved and wanted me. I wonder what I could have became if I was told I was smart, pretty, funny, wanted and loved. I wonder what it would have been like to have a carefree childhood where I didn't worry about my mom leaving me because she never wanted kids. If I hadn't had parents that found my very existence to be a burden. If my parents had wanted custody of me when they divorced rather than fighting over who had to take me. I wonder if I would be less self destructive. I wonder if I would have learned to love myself. I wonder if I would have learned to demand better treatment of me by others. Instead, after 37 years, I continue to let people treat me as if I'm disposable. After all, my parents taught me I am.

I used to worry that I would grow up to be crazy like my mother. Luckily, the paranoid schizophrenia becomes apparent in your mid to late twenties, so I dodged that bullet. Hey, at least I dodged one, right?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


I thought of these things when I was reading Walt's blog:

1. I adore Edith Bunker. I know she's not a real person, but I cried like a baby when she died on All in the Family. I was scared to death when she was raped. I wish she was my mom. She may have been a "dingbat" but she was so loving, sweet and innocent, and always did the right thing.

2. I love macaroni and cheese. A lot. It is probably the most comforting food in the world to me.

3. My friend Mitch is sending me some Teuscher Champagne Truffles Fed Ex for tomorrow. He is fabulous!

4. I miss all the old tv shows from the 70s and 80s.

5. I think the people at Sony are a bunch of bastards for not releasing any more seasons of Fantasy Island.

6. I love JZ for buying me season 1 of Fantasy Island.

7. I've met a lot of really wonderful people through the podcast.

8. I don't get why people think Jay Leno is funny. He's not funny at all, and annoys me to no end.

9. David Letterman is a genius and I wanted to marry him when I was 14. I think I still do.

10. I'm heading downstairs to the treadmill because I only got in 25 minutes this morning. I'll be watching Private Practice from the treadmill, in case you were wondering!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Fifty more random statements.

Because I like these kind of blogs. I like that they are random and tangential....just like me.

1. I don't like white underwear. At all. In fact, I find them repulsive, and will never wear them.

2. I do like white socks, and I don't know why.

3. I have freakishly small feet, and often buy children's shoes because they are cheaper.

4. I'm cheap, but prefer to think I'm frugal, however I'll pay more for a quality product.

5. As cheap as I am, I'm also a snob. I like nice things.

6. I'm only fine if the word is being used as an acronym for Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. (thanks to The Italian Job, where I stole that from)

7. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but should start figuring it out pretty soon.

8. I'm the thinnest I've been since high school right now, but I still look fat in the mirror.

9. I don't like it when I let someone into my lane when there is a traffic jam, and they don't give me the little courtesy wave.

10. I sometimes lie to people at the movie theater when they ask if seats are taken because I don't want them sitting by me. I especially do this if they look "chatty."

11. I'm unapologetic about shushing people at the movie theater who talk. If you need to talk all through the movie, then watch it in your fucking living room! Jeez!

12. I think I might be on the verge of a nervous breakdown right now.

13. I love the deep v-neck long sleeved t-shirts from Old Navy, and wear them as one of my layers almost every day.

14. If I find something I like, I will buy multiples of it. Sometimes in every color, and usually several in black.

15. I live in jeans.

16. Shazam and the Livestrong Calorie Counter are the 2 best iPhone applications.

17. I once painted the outside of my house purple. Not a muted quiet color, but a rather bright crazy shade of purple.

18. I'm really proud that I went to Costa Rica to learn to surf. I'm also really proud that I actually picked it up and was able to do it!

19. I have an irrational fear of being eaten by a shark.

20. I love Michael Stipe.

21. I like Miracle Whip, and I'm confident that makes me white trash.

22. I love Teuscher Champagne Truffles, and maybe that counteracts my white trash Miracle Whip tendencies.

23. Almost no people I know in real life read this or listen to the podcast. I'm kind of glad for both.

24. I like to be alone. I'm comfortable traveling alone, eating alone. None of that ever bothers me.

25. I sometime feel more alone in a group of people than I ever do when I'm by myself.

26. I don't really like Christmas. I find it incredibly stressful.

27. I own 3 Menorahs.

28. My favorite Christmas songs are "Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy by Bing Crosby and David Bowie, "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses, "Mele Kalikimaka" by Bing Crosby, "Baby it's Cold Outside" and "Medley Winterwonderland/Sleighride" by Dolly Parton.

29. I have a collection of Precious Moments in boxes in my basement. Ugh. (don't judge...I know it's scary)

30. I'm addicted to Mint Chapstick.

31. I once was a patch test subject for Aveda. They don't test on animals, so I let them test products on me.

32. I used to volunteer for the late Senator Paul Wellstone.

33. I met Ben and Jerry at a birthday party for Paul Wellstone one year. Mmm. Ice cream.

34. I hate Windows Vista, and my next computer will be an iMac.

35. I love my new treadmill, and put 33 miles on it this week.

36. I'm a home pooper. I know, TMI.

37. I use cloth napkins at home because I don't like to waste paper.

38. I have lost peripheral vision in my right eye.

39. Coke Zero and Pepsi One are my two favorite sodas.

40. I can't drink orange juice with pulp. Lumpy drinks make me gag.

41. Peppermint bon bon, and chocolate brownie chunk are my favorite ice creams.

42. I love the giant Toblerone bars you can get at Target. Not sure why an 11 oz Toblerone is appropriate, but it is. Mmm, candy!

43. I'm trying to eat healthier.

44. I seem to have developed a slight Trader Joe's addiction.

45. I can quit anytime I want to.

46. There is no such thing as a diamond that's too big.

47. I have really random taste in music.

48. I love the Rachel Maddow podcast.

49. I'm scared for the future.

50. I need a nap, but I'm going for a run on the treamill.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

10 Random things I feel Thankful for.

1. I was lucky enough to be born in this country where I have virtually limitless possibility. The simple fact of where you happened to be born is one thing you have no control over what so ever, yet can be the single most significant factor in what kind of life you will lead. I could just as easily been born in Darfur, or any third world, war-torn country.

2. As many health issues as I honestly do have, and as serious as they may be, I am relatively healthy. I am strong, fairly fit, and in no real pain.

3. I have extremely wonderful and supportive friends.

4. I have a nice, comfortable house. In a really wonderful, tight-knit neighborhood. I can honestly say I know every one of my neighbors.

5. I have a good reliable car.

6. I have a decent education. I'd still like to go back for a different, more marketable degree, but the ones I have are okay.

7. I find a reason to laugh every single day, and try to remain positive.

8. Nick has a very stable job in these scary economic times. Mine....not so much. But I feel lucky that one of us does. I know couples where both of them have been laid off, and I would lose my mind if I were in that situation.

9. I've been disciplined enough to save money every month in my money market, stock account, and my 401 (k).

10. Barack Obama was elected President of the United States of America!!!

Bonus just for my dear friend Larry Klye:

11. Dear baby Jesus, I am thankful for alcoholic beverages! Especially when one must spend time with the family!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

50 Random Statements:

1. I almost knocked Oprah to the ground running to the restroom once when I had the flu.

2. I think my parrot is much smarter and better company than all but maybe five people I know.

3. I am an environmentalist, yet drive an SUV and make no apologies.

4. I love all things purple.

5. I feel fatter at 115 lbs. than I ever did at 159 lbs.

6. My biggest fear in life is having a stroke.

7. My house is currently a pig sty.

8. I don't know exactly what the hell a pig sty is.

9. I always thought I was a dog person until I got my cat.

10. If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be Costa Rica.

11. I regret marrying at 24.

12. I don't regret not having kids.

13. I believe Barack Obama will do great things.

14. I'm secretly in love with Nate Silver.

15. I have a strange attraction to geeky men.

16. I may be critical of others, but I'm much more critical of myself.

17. If I had to chose between my husband and my iphone.....I think the iphone might win.

18. Secretly, I adore Anderson Cooper for being the host of the Mole.

19. I want botox for the wrinkle between my eyes. Smile lines are okay, frown lines are not.

20. I wish I had different parents.

21. I will likely die before I see 60, and I'm okay with that.

22. I love cheesy reality tv.

23. I own the book Twilight, yet don't want to read it just because it's the big thing right now.

24. My Grandpa means the world to me.

25. I'm much more sensitive and fragile than I'll ever let on.

26. I'm addicted to Costco.

27. I love going to the dentist.

28. Fresh cut grass is the best smell in the world....right after chocolate chip cookies.

29. I still miss my dog Hannah, who died 10.23.05, and my dog Misty who died 5.3.99.

31. I have a crush on Jim from The Office.

32. I've never been to Europe, but want to go very much.

33. I speak French and German.

34. When I'm stressed I have recurring dreams of clowns chasing me. (clowns scare the hell out of me!)

35. I know it's bad, but I like McDonald's food.

36. I'm terrible with the computer, but I'm a gadget savant.

37. I have an excellent memory.

38. I'm fiercely loyal.

39. I secretly like Miley Cyrus.

40. I feel guilty for being an animal lover, yet still eating meat. I know better.

41. I love shoes, purses, coats, and jewelry. A lot!

42. Diamonds go with everything, including jeans or pajamas. :)

43. Cruises are the best vacations.

44. I tend to pick up strays. Both animals and people.

45. I wear a mouth guard and a retainer to bed because I clench my jaw from stress.

46. I was happy when my parents finally divorced because it was more peaceful than living with the tension.

47. I don't really know my siblings.

48. I slouch, and hate that.

49. I fall asleep at Broadway shows even though I enjoy them.

50. I'm currently ignoring the fact that I need a pacemaker at age 37.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Stolen from Walt...cause that's how I roll.

What Your Love of Twix Says About You

You are a generous and caring person. You are soft hearted.

You're the type who needs a partner. You just don't feel right on your own.

You are more fragile than outward appearances would suggest.

You tend to be a pushover. You are very sensitive and easy to break.

What Does Your Favorite Candy Say About You?

Ok, I'm not going to lie....this is actually frighteningly accurate about me!! Everything except the "needing a partner and not feeling right on my own" is pretty much right on. :) What kind of candy are you? Is the description accurate? Let me know!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Birthday Happies!

It's my birthday today so I'm playing hooky from work! Well, not really. My boss knew in advance that I wouldn't be there...so I guess that's not really hooky. I'm having lunch with a friend and getting a massage later today! I can't wait!

I had a nice relaxing weekend. Didn't do that much. Socialized with a few friends, got a few presents. You know, normal birthday stuff. Went out for dinner, and had a major cheat day yesterday....and the scale only says I'm up 1.2 lbs! Yay for me! My friend Bree gave me the book "Twilight" for my birthday, which I've heard a lot about....so I guess I'm joining that cult.

Speaking of books, I got a chance to read most of Drew Ferguson's book The Screwed Up Life of Charlie the Second this weekend. If you get a chance, read it. It's a great book. I guess Drew listens to podcasts, so he offered to send us each autographed books to read, and we are participating in a podcaster's book club. I'm recording with Archerr tomorrow, and David That Blue Jeans Guy later this week. I think it's really cool. Who'd guess an author listens to our silly show? :-)

I've started getting some presents from my Amazon wish list, which is really awesome! I'm really thankful for all my friends that I've met online, many of whom I've had a chance to meet in person! You have all touched me and enriched my life, and I'm grateful for you!

It sounds like my birthday will be celebrated for most of this month, and who doesn't like that?!? I'm going up to see my Grandpa in Park Rapids, MN next weekend. Who doesn't love an extended celebration? I know I do! I'm really excited to go see my Grandpa. I adore him so much! He is the one person in the world who only sees the positives in me. I'm perfect to him in every way. He makes me feel loved in it's purest form. He also spoils me with yummy junk food, and worries that I don't eat enough. (yes, I was a picky eater when I was little...obviously I outgrew it, but he still worries) I think I'll go to Grandpa's after work on Friday. It's a 3.5-4 hour drive, and I think I'll come home Sunday afternoon. Nick's family are having a birthday party for me on Sunday evening, so I wouldn't want to miss presents.

The following weekend I'm having dinner with my friend Susan, so the birthday celebration continues at least until then. :)

Now the negatives; Nick's parents are scheduled to arrive in Minneapolis from North Carolina this Wednesday! Ugh. I guess it's his cousin's wedding this coming weekend. I don't know his cousin, and I've been excused from having to attend. I'm really grateful for this because I really HATE going to Nick's dad's side of the family. There are a lot of really weird people who don't know much about boundaries. The last time I attended one of these family functions, his aunt Marcella, who I've only met once before this, at my wedding, felt the need to ask me about my gynecological health. Really? Is this appropriate conversation to make with a virtual stranger over a 4th of July picnic? Yeah, I didn't think so either. I'm not sensitive about my health problems at all. I really couldn't care less, but it was just so invasive because I don't even know whis woman. (Nick's mother loves to call everyone she's ever met and gossip about this kind of thing. Ugh) At the time, I had just had 2 miscarriages, but since then I've had a tubal pregnancy rupture, and emergency surgery. I'm sure that would be a wonderful topic of conversation for the wedding reception, right? I mean who doesn't love feeling like a medical freak of nature among strangers? No, thanks. I think I'll head to my Grandpa's house and steer clear of the crazies.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

It's been 2 years today.

This blog entry is just for me, and I just wanted to acknowledge it. I'm not going to say anymore than that.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Look! We are cartoons!

Our fabulous, adorable, super-sweet listener Candy made us cool new avatars! I think they are pretty cute! Thanks Candy!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Mmm cupcakes!

Because these make me laugh....and who doesn't love a cupcake?? (these pictures were brazenly stolen from Walt and Eric...thanks boys!)

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I've heard that I need to blog more...

Not sure why I never blog. It seems like I'm always busy. Doing what? I'm not sure exactly. Probably just wasting time.

So last weekend, I watched a little Fantasy Island that I got on dvd from our listener JZ. Can I just say how much I freakin' LOVE that show!?!?! Seriously, it was one of my favorites when I was a little girl! Now looking back, it was maybe a little bit scary for a 6 year old to watch, but I was raised by wolves and had little parental guidance. I remember watching it every Saturday night when I was a kid. Fantasy Island and Love Boat! Those were good times, and for some reason I find it incredibly comforting to watch these cheesy old shows!

Sunday we went to the Minnesota State Fair. Every year I think there is more to do there than there really is. It's mostly people watching and eating bad fried foods on sticks. There are a lot of FUPAs to see, cellulite, bad fashions, missing teeth, bad tattoos. So yeah, it's a good time! I know there must be other things to do, but they are lost on me. I don't enjoy seeing the livestock. Mostly I find it hard to look into their eyes and know they are going to be dinner in the near future. Ugh. I don't like really much the fair has to offer....except food. I've also got some pics of people that I found amusing, but I'll post those later. (read that as, I'm lazy and my digital camera is still in my purse)

Monday, I went for a 10 mile walk first thing in the morning. I was trying to get rid of the crappy food from the fair. It didn't seem like I needed to wear much for sunscreen, but I was wrong, and burned my shoulders and chest. (I did sunscreen my face....nobody wants wrinkles...cancer, sure. Wrinkles-no thanks!) Then we got a call inviting us to Nick's grandma's pool for the last pool party of the year. We went, and it was hot (90) and sunny. We stayed a couple of hours and then went home. I had too much sun as it was, so I didn't want to stay long.

So that was about it. I blogged. Yay for me.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I forgot this one.

One of my favorite pictures from the weekend. Mostly just because it's so completely inappropriate. Freddy and British John on the subway. :)

Monday, August 25, 2008

Sunday August 24th

Walt and me.
John feeling sad that his apple pie has cinnamon in it. :*(
Drunkie John
Walt, Stevy B and me
Stevy B and me
Kevin, Brian, and Stevy B
My line up of drinks
John and Walt
David B and Leon
John doing what he does best: Being inappropriate!
Larry Klye, Walt and Joe
Stevy B
The Danbury's. Brian and Kevin
If he stopped waving, he'd only look severely retarded.
(I had to call it that, Walt) :)
Walt, me and cupcake!
Walt and Freddy
Walt and Freddy.
Random shenanigans!
Ken looks ready for a divorce for some reason.

Walt and me!

How cute are those two?? I adore me some Walt!

Friday Aug 22nd

Larry Klye eating pizza....again!
British John drinking!
Freddy drinking....3 drinks!
Okay, okay...try to look serious!
Take one.
Freddy and Jed. Cute!
Because John's straight.
Subway shenanigans
Idea stolen from Big Fatty. (hi Dad!)
Me! I got cold in Central Park
How cute is Jed?
John's dunce hat.

A beautiful day to lay around in Central Park
British John laying in Central Park
Graffitti shenanigans. "Why" starring John
"I'm so sexy" starring Freddy
"I'm a shithead" starring Jed
John couldn't take it anymore
Because John's NOT a gay man!
John and Freddy "bonding"
Freddy and John
Freddy and Holly
Mmmmm hurricanes! But not the bad kind.
The gang out for hurricanes and appetizers
John and Holly at lunch. He never stops talking! ;)
Larry Klye and John at Rockefeller Center.