Sunday, September 30, 2007

Tapeworm day!

Today I had what my friends Michael and Kevin would call a tapeworm day. Nick and I ate all manner of junk! The day started out pretty good with a triple berry/soy milk smoothie. From there, we went to cheetos, fresh tollhouse cookies, a butterfinger bar. It was a dietary disaster.

The good news is until the diet blow-out today I had lost 6 if the 7 lbs I wanted to lose! So it's ok to have a cheat-fest!

It was really dreary and rainy today. We spent the whole day watching tv premiers on the dvr, and napping. I really think I am going to like Dirty, Sexy, Money. I don't like Bionic Woman, and Private Practice. It might not be fair to judge it since I did take a little nap in the middle of it, but then again, if it puts me to sleep, that can't be a good sign! Everything else fell in the middle, and could go either way. (we have watched Dirty Sexy Money, Bionic Woman, Moonlight, Chuck, Reaper, Private Practice...and I cant remember what else) The one I am most excited about is Pushing Daisies. It looks really fun, and interesting. We'll see!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Motorcycle accident

Nick and I decided to go to lunch today at Ruby Tuesday. On the way there about 1/2 block from the restaurant a guy on a motorcycle flew off going about 60mph. I am not sure what happened, he was with a bunch of other motorcycle riders, and they were riding 2 per lane, so maybe he hit handlebars with another. Anyway, we were on the frontage road next to the highway that it happened on. Suddenly cars were stopping and running out to this guy. I called 911, and literally within 30 seconds I could hear the police sirens. We were less than 1/2 mile from the police station. About 5 squad cars were there within 2-3 minutes.

Nick and I didn't want to be lookey-loos, so we went in the restaurant and ate our lunch. You could still see all the flashing lights from our booth. While Nick was at the salad bar, I went outside to see if the ambulance had arrived. It had, and I could see him laying on the road and the paramedics were working on him. I went back in, and ate my lunch. I wasn't hungry anymore, and I was shaky. They worked on him for about 1/2 hour before the ambulance took him to the hospital. I hope he is okay.

I have a weird reaction to ambulances sometimes. Not very often anymore, but every now and then, I still get teary eyed and shaky when I hear the sirens. Almost 6 years ago, my mother had a heart attack while recovering from hip replacement surgery at my house. I called the ambulance and like today, the police came first. They put her on oxygen, took her pulse, etc. When the ambulance came, they got her on a stretcher, and just as they were putting her in the ambulance, she went into cardiac arrest. I was in the front seat of the ambulance when it happened. The paramedic kept yelling her name, then they hooked her up to the crash cart and started shocking her. It's not like on television. Every time she was shocked she made this awful screaming noise. I was crying, and the police officer tried to make me go in the house, but I stayed there. (I wasn't getting in the way or anything, she just didn't want me to see it) They worked on her for 10-15 minutes before she had a pulse and we were finally able to drive to the hospital. I was horrified at how many people don't pull over for ambulances! She was rushed into the ER, and had no idea what was happening. I for some reason was really calm at that point and told her she had a heart attack, had gone into cardiac arrest, and that they were going to take care of her. I told her she would be okay and to behave herself in surgery. (That was my way of telling her not to die) One of the ER nurses told me I was really strong and that she appreciated it. She said patients don't need family members freaking out when they are going into surgery. So with that they took my mother into the cardiac unit and did an angioplasty on her and put in two stents. She was in the hospital for a couple of days, and came back to my house to recover for a couple of weeks. She is fine now--crazy, but alive.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Good Girl!

Ok, I behaved really well yesterday. Worked out, ate properly. Blah blah blah....all that boring stuff that is no fun! The fun part was this morning when I weighed myself and I was 3.1lbs lighter. I guess that must mean a lot of it was water weight. Now I have only 4 lbs to lose before my birthday in 3 weeks. Easy! Why is it that I saw the results and instantly wanted to cheat? That is part of the problem, I celebrate everything with food. Weight loss is probably the only thing in the world you really can't celebrate with a tasty treat. Sure after a milestone you can cheat a little, but after one day?!?! C'mon, Holly hold strong! I didn't cheat today. Good girl!

Friday, September 21, 2007

Turning over a new leaf

Ok, today is the day I get back on the dietary straight and narrow. For real this time--I mean it! I've been eating everything that isn't nailed down pretty much for the last month. It makes me really mad at myself, and then I eat more junk. What is wrong with me?? I'm up 7lbs as of this morning. (Although I weighed myself about an hour ago, and am down a pound from this morning--so some of it must be water!)

I had donuts every day this week except today. Two of them yesterday, in fact! I am completely out of control. I'm trying to regain control. Today a girl at work baked apple pies and brought them in, and I didn't have any. It's not that hard to resist apple pie, it's donuts, chocolate cake, candy, etc. that are hard to leave alone! So 3 weeks from tomorrow is my 36th birthday. I need to be 7lbs lighter by then, which should be pretty doable. Then I can have cake and a good birthday dinner. The following week I go to Chicago to visit my friend Clayton. So I want to be thin for my trip. Clayton hasn't seen me since I lost weight, so I want to be at my thinnest and most fabulous! :)

Today I behaved myself. No junk at all. I even snacked on baby cucumbers. Slightly less satisfying than candy, but it makes me hate myself a lot less. I also ran on the treadmill for 1/2 hour. I much prefer walking outside, but it gets dark so early now and Nick doesn't like to go with me. I live in a safe neighborhood, but I don't like walking alone in the dark. (partly because I'm night blind, partly because I'm a little girl and don't like being raped and murdered!)

I realize this is a big rambling pile of crap, but oh well. It's my pile of crap, so suck it! :) I'll keep you posted on the weight loss.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

September 18th.

Today it's been a year since I had emergency surgery. I went to work, and someone had brought donuts. I chose the biggest apple turnover known to man...literally it was bigger than my head. About 5 minutes after finishing my turnover I got a rather sharp pain in my left side. I called my OB/GYN and she told me to go to an emergency room. I drove to the one my OB was affilliated with even though it was about a 45 minute drive. I went in and described my pain and told them that I was 8 weeks pregnant. They told me to wait in the ER and they would call me.

Within 5 minutes a nurse came out with a wheelchair to get me. They poked and prodded at my side and sent me in for an ultrasound. I was all too familiar with all this because this was actually my third pregnancy in 13 months. (I have about a million things physically wrong with me, but that's a whole other story!) The ultrasound confirmed that the pregnancy was tubal, and I would need to undergo an emergency surgery. I asked them if I could just have chemotherapy like I did one other time, but the doctor told me this was too late to do that. I would later find out that my fallopian tube had already ruptured at this point.

I called Nick to tell him that I was in the ER and had a tubal pregnancy and was going to need surgery. I had never had any kind of surgery and I was scared. Nick told me he would get there as soon as he was done with work. Now, Nick is a mailman and has literally thousands of hours of sick pay that he is allowed to use for either himself or a family member's illness, or medical emergency. We went back and forth and he said he would see what he could do. This was about 10:30 am.

The doctors began prepping me and asking all kinds of questions about what I had eaten etc. Well, I had eaten the world's largest apple turnover just before coming. (those of you who voted me most likely to sell my soul for a donut on facebook, weren't too far off, huh?) They determined I would need to wait a little while for my surgery due to the fullness of my stomach. So they put me on an IV, and put my under this silver heat blanket that blows warm air on you. A nice young guy asked what my pain level was on a scale of 1-10, and I told him it was about a 7. He asked if I wanted some morphine, and I said I was fine. He said, "Are you sure, I've got lots! Don't be a hero!" So I let him give me morphine for the pain. They were trying to keep me from going into shock because I was bleeding internally, while trying to buy some time for me to digest my apple turnover. Leave it to me to delay medical attention due to my eating habits! I called Nick a few more times. I was scared and alone in the hospital.

They moved me to the pre-op area after about 4-5 hours. The nurses started taking my jewelry off and putting it all in a denture (Ick!) container--hopefully a new one! One nurse reprimanded me because I was told to take off all my jewelry, and when she removed my socks, she saw I had 2 toe rings on still. Well in all the blur of the morphine, frankly, I forgot they were there! Anyway, they wheeled me into surgery and Nick still wasn't there.

I woke up to about 5 nurses standing around me. It was all fuzzy, but I distinctly heard one of them say that she got really scared when my heart rate dipped below 50 beats per minute. (I have bradycardia, and my heart slows way down...if it gets worse, I may end up with a pacemaker) I slowly opened my eyes and saw all these nurses standing around me, looking at me and asking how I felt. I asked them if my bikini modeling career was over, and they laughed and knew I was ok. I noticed there was another woman in the recovery room who had elbow surgery. She had 1 nurse there with her and she was really complaining and whining. It's funny, she has elbow surgery and you would think it was the end of the world. I actually "bradied down" during surgery--that's when alarms start going off and they start worrying that they may have to shock you, and I'm making jokes with the nurses when I wake up.

Anyway, it was about 5:30 when they moved me to my hospital room. They were serving dinner, and the hallway smelled really good. I asked what we were having, and was informed that I just woke up from surgery, so it would be jello and broth for me. (ick--although I did con them into giving me chocolate pudding later) I got to my room and Nick was FINALLY there. He bought me my iPod, but no earbuds. So he visited for 15 minutes, and went home (45min one way) to get my earbuds. I don't know why he didn't just go to the Target that was 1 mile away and buy some. So an 1 1/2 hours later he came back with my earbuds, and promptly left with his uncle to help him drive my car home.

He called me the next morning and told me to call him when I was released. I was released at about 2:00 pm, and he picked me up in front of the hospital. He didn't even come up to get me in my hospital room. A nurse wheeled me down in the wheelchair, and he picked me up outside.

It's been a year, and I'm ok with the no kids thing. I really like my life the way it is. It's just hard to get passed being abandoned in a hospital by someone who is supposed to love you. Nick is no longer my medical emergency contact person, my friend Susan is. That isn't right.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Murphy's Law

I went for a long walk today to repent for some dietary sins I've committed recently. I had a leisurely morning of reading the paper, playing on the net and eating omelets. So I decided to take my walk before I showered. Why shower first and then get all sweaty? So I threw on a tank top, some jean shorts, put my hair in a ponytail, and my iPod and I were out the door. I walk the trails daily, and never run into anyone I know, except neighbors, but really who cares if they see me looking like trash? (Heck, I've run over to some of their houses in my pajamas before!) I walked about 3 miles out on the trail, stopped to play on the swings at a park. You're never too old to play on the swings! Then coming out of the park getting ready to start the 3 miles back, I see a guy on a bike stop, and out of my peripheral vision I see him turn around. I can hear him saying something, but can't quite hear what because my iPod was playing. Finally he pulls up next to me, and it turns out to be Dave, a guy I work with. Ugh! I hadn't showered, I have a messy looking ponytail, no make up, wearing a wife-beater tank top. I wouldn't have cared if it hadn't been someone I WORK with. I'm gross. I'm embarrassed. Why don't I ever run into people when I'm looking especially good? Murphy's law!

Saturday, September 15, 2007


Dear Croc wearers,
If you wear these, please don't take offense--you'll thank me for it later. Take them off your feet now. Place them in the garbage can. Shut the lid. Don't get me wrong, I understand they are comfortable, but these are not for wear in public. You may wear them in your garden, or around your house--that's it. And please for crying out loud, I'm begging you, don't wear them with socks! It just makes me worry that none of your friends care enough about you to tell you the truth.


Friday, September 14, 2007

Oooh look at how fancy I am!

All the cool kids have blogs, and now I do too!! Yay!