First off, I just want to thank everyone who read my last post and was worried about me. I just wrote it to get it out of my system, and I'm fine. Really. The situation with my mother just is what it is, and I sometimes get down about it, especially during her birthday and the holidays.
This year is was probably magnified by all the other things going on in my life right now. I've been extremely worried about the economy. Since my job is in the "luxury" business, it's not terribly stable with the shaky finances that so many people have these days. Funny how people who are losing their house, have been laid off, and can't afford to buy groceries are not buying jewelry this year! That makes me nervous for my own job. Very nervous. Ok, maybe paralyzed with fear is more like it. I had a panic attack last week when I went Giftmas shopping. I just started thinking about the money, the fact that our phones at work are not really ringing, and everything just boiled over. I couldn't leave the mall fast enough. By the time I got to my car, I wasn't just crying, but bawling and hyperventilating. I've never had a panic attack before in my life. In fact, people who know me in real life are the most shocked and worried over that, because it's just not like me. I'm usually the stable, steady, rational one. Not this time, not right now.
There is also a lot of other things going on, that I'm not quite ready to talk about in my blog, but let's just say they are all contributing to my stress level.
So, for those of you who worried about me, thank you. I'm okay. It's just a rough time right now for me.