Okay this story needs a little background. A few years ago we were having Christmas dinner with my mother's side of the family at a farmhouse in rural Minnesota. I was seated directly to the left of my uncle Ben. He asked for someone to pass him the dinner rolls. Then he fell face down into his dinner. I leaned over to see what was going on, and his eyes were rolled back in his head and fluttering. He then lurched backwards. We laid him on the floor in the kitchen and checked his breathing and pulse, he had neither. My cousins began CPR. I started moving the card table that the kids were eating at so the ambulance crew could get there. We all watched my uncle Ben turn purple and die while they were still doing CPR. The ambulance finally got there after about 1/2 hour. He was pronounced dead at the hospital. They think he had a blood clot to the brain and died instantly.
Now that farmhouse has ALWAYS given me the creeps. Since I was a little girl, I always hated going there, but put up with it to try not to hurt my aunt Sue's feelings. Well, last year my aunt Sue died there in that creepy house.
I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT HOUSE AGAIN!!! EVER IN MY LIFE!
My cousin Carrie (Sue's daughter) wants to have Christmas there this year. Frankly I only went there again after Ben died one time, and was completely tormented by visions of Ben turning purple and dying in that kitchen. I can't deal with going to that place. I'm not the only one, most of us feel that way, but don't know a polite way of saying we don't want to go there anymore.
I offered to have Christmas, and now I've apparently stirred the pot. (I didn't even tell her I don't want to go there anymore, I just offered to have it this year!) Carrie is calling everybody all upset, and won't address it with me.
Why are families so dysfunctional? My next move is to tell her why we don't want to come, and that will only hurt her feelings. The thing is, she grew up there and has lots of memories...we go there once a year, and the memories we have are not pleasant.