Hey everyone. Thanks to all of you who voted for Nick's aunt Bonnie's dog in the contest! Even though we got 4500 votes (awesome) we didn't make it into the finals. Boo for that. Good effort on our part though, right?
Not much else going on. I'm feeling nervous at work. Lots of visits from different bankers, which isn't a good sign. Someone is coming to evaluate inventory on Monday. I really need to get my resume updated, but frankly I don't even know where to start. Part of it is just me feeling paralyzed with fear. Part of it is my own insecurity that I don't know how to do anything else. I'm scared to leave, and I'm scared to stay. I'm positive I'll end up working a drive through window, wearing a paper hat and asking people if they want fries with that. Also, I need to remember to spell it "drive thru" if I'm going to work one...I should at least have the decency to spell accordingly, right?
I'm feeling really fat right now. No good reason. I'm just up 2 lbs, which is really nothing. I guess maybe because I had a binge today. We went back to the restaurant we went to last weekend, and I had the Mac Attack. Three Squares in Maple Grove really has the best mac & cheese I've ever had. I'm sure it's also quite heart healthy. It's got 5 kinds of cheese, and it's really creamy. It almost looks like alfredo sauce, but richer, if you can imagine. So good.
Nick and I aren't really getting along very well. He's been really edgy and yelling at me a lot. I'm sure I'm no picnic to live with, but I usually know what I've done to warrant a yelling at. Lately, it seems like I can't do much right. It's exhausting. Sometimes I just want to pack my things, move to a new city, and start over.
I'm starting to see my life as a series of mistakes. I have a lot of regrets. I wish I'd have done so many things that I haven't done, and I'm sure I never will. I wish I hadn't done a lot of things I have. I wish....maybe that's the perfectionist in me. Never satisfied.
I guess I'm in a little funk right now. Maybe it's time to go to bed. Or at least watch Neil Patrick Harris on SNL. Maybe that will make me better. :)