Saturday, April 19, 2008

I'm shocked.

I really am surprised at how truly hateful people can be. Perfect strangers getting off on making someone they don't know, who's never done anything to hurt them, feel like crap. And then laugh while someone else cries. What sad, pitiful, and terribly empty lives you must lead. Tragic. I don't hate you, I pity you. You have no soul, and nothing to offer the world.

I'm tired, but still digesting the hatefulness of the evening. I need to sleep. I need to purge myself of this night.

I refuse to apologize for having feelings. I won't apologize for having a soul. Your hate lives within you, not me. I won't own your dysfunction. That's not mine.


Bluboy said...

Awe Holly!!!Hugs! I know exactly what you mean!!!

Walt said...

Fuck them. More people love you than you know, though I know that doesn't help while you're in the middle of a trauma. But it's true.

Melanie said...

Blow them off, Holly. They're not worth the attention.

Michael in Stuttgart said...

I have missed what happened, but never forget that there are so many people who love and admire you. You are an amazing person and you make us laugh and think and just have a good time.
Unfortunately there are too many stupid and envious people out there who thrive on hurting others or putting them down. They are full of selfhatred and despise everything and everyone positive and good. I am all with Walt and the others.
You are great and wonderful and so many of us love you dear. But I can understand you when you sometimes prefer animals to people.

Kiko said...

Hopefully, you'll take this comment as constructive and not hateful:

Quit being so Debbie Downer about this and let it roll off your back. Take it for what it is. These are online personas looking for cheap thrills/entertainment. I doubt that anyone seriously thinks bad of you or wants to harm you. That would be insane.

Believe it or not, you'll probably make out in the end. Just think of all of the free publicity you're getting. Besides, take it from me, the online community, especially people who listen to podcasts, love quirky people and the more pathetic you are perceived to be, the more popular you become.

Michael in Stuttgart said...

hey kiko,
I think Holly is smart enough to see your point. But it is not an intellectual issue or a content related one. It is a personal and emotional matter.
Actually I don't like this "Don't be Debbie Downer"-remark. Someone crossed a line and hurt someone else personally. It is legitimate to express your being hurt. Don't blame the victim.
I know that we all move around in a virtual space but behind all these computers and wires still are actual persons. Being injust or rude in cyber space is as unintelligent and inacceptable as it is in real life, because we are real people here online.
And keiko, believe it or not, it is not all about publicity or popularity.
But thank you for your comment anyway. I see your point but I don't think Holly is a Debbie Downer, she has been hurt and treated unfair. And that sucks.

City Cynic said...

Confucius say, emotions ruin a good dish.

Mollie said...

I wish I could say something here that would make you feel a million times better but everything I want to write sounds stupid. I'm sorry you're feeling like you are and there are a lot of people who think you are a wonderful person.

RambleRedhead said...


You know that I am fan and I agree totally with what else has been written here and hope that the love you get will overcome the negative from that horrible night.

Life is filled with people who act in bizarre ways and often the issues are within them and have nothing to do with you.

Your show with the great Nessa and Walt are is popular because it is a funny show and people truly enjoy it very much.

(F)redddy said...

Hollister, more people appreciate you than not. THAT should make you feel better. And by "appreciate", I mean worship!

Sasha said...

I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about in this post but if it's because someone criticized you online, well fuck it, Holly. This is teh Internets where stupid people get to say nasty shit to other people that they would -never- say to them face to face. I used to have a very popular online journal (this was back before blogging) and I used to regularly get hate emails. I'm not going to pretend it didn't bother me, because some of what people used to write was pretty hateful, but eventually I realized that my "hurt" over it needed to be as short-lived as possible or I would be letting the stupid/cruel people win. Well, that's my two cents for whatever it's worth, Holly, and it's so obvious you have a lot of people who adore you just from reading your comments! I still have no idea what I missed out on. How typical of me to be so out of the loop. :|

Taffy said...

I am so sorry that your day has been rough...Please remember that some people still live in Junior High.
I have no idea what is going on, but "Chin up"!!
This to shall pass!

Candy said...

Hey Kiddo, don't know what the story is, but have to jump in here to let you know no matter who tried to tear you down, there are a lot more of us who love and want to build you up. You're a wonderful person. Hugs and love. (Now let me at them so I can beat the shit out of the bastard!)